Helen couldn’t believe her eyes. She’d read about various insulting t-shirt slogans online before, but those were usually the sorts of things you saw that some company printed and immediately recalled due to complaints. She always assumed they were half-staged just for the attention. But here this was, right in her local mall, as gross and misogynistic and insulting as the day was long.
"Boys are better than books"? Jesus.
She left, shaking her head. Did people actually buy that sort of thing? She didn’t know much about marketing, she had to admit, but it seemed like something that overtly stupid wouldn’t be good for business.
She did have to give them credit for alliteration. Boys are better than books. It had a certain rhythm to it, she couldn’t deny that. Boys are better than books. She wasn’t much of a literature student, but there was probably a term for that. Like iambic pentameter, but with a different number of syllables. Boys are better than books. The alternating stress from syllable to syllable became like a drumbeat in her mind.
Despite herself, she started thinking of other possible slogans like that.
Shoes are better than smarts.
Dresses are better than degrees.
Tits are better than wits.
Orgasms are better than ideas.
She grinned to herself. This was fun, actually. Each of the little slogans looped over and over in her mind. She decided to go back and look at the shirt again. Boys are better than books, she thought. Boys are better than books, boys are better than books, boys are better…
She bought the shirt, of course. Quite a bit more, as well. She just couldn’t stop herself. Everything she saw she immediately created a slogan for. Cosmetics are better than classes, she thought as she browsed the makeup counter. Salons are better than studying. Blonde is better than bright. Giggle is better than genius.
She could tell her wordplay was getting worse, but that was okay. Being cute was better than being clever, after all.
One of my faves
Oooh yeah I remember this one! I was pretty happy with it. That initial picture was just begging to be part of a Before & After, y’know? :)
Everything about this, nay, everything about anything Summer writes is perfection!